No country for old gnomes

In a Cave Just Positively Riddled with Blood and Gecko Toes

Beset by Naked Halfling Malice

Beneath the Sweaty Onion Flesh of a Rogue

Across the Lea and Fuming in the Tenebrous Darkness

On the Dew-Slobbered Slopes of the Honeymelon Hills

Aclatter with a Surfeit of Brooms in a Strategic Mobile Habitat

Inside an Oven Disturbingly Full of Bones

Afoul of the Fearful Cabbage Pastor of Misree

Through a Cold Blü Sky Bereft of Fluffee Egges

Surrounded by Distressingly Beardless Chins and the Grumbles of the Elderly

Under the Grim Weight of an Implacable Iron Toe Ring

Under the Salubrious Influence of a Most Potent Boning Tea

Flushed as Red as Lingonberries and Longing for a Redo

Concerned About Hairy Palms and Sadly Lacking Eyeliner

In a Very Pretty Place Where Foreshadowing Intimates Trouble

Wrapped Warmly and Perhaps Too Tightly in the Arms of Unwanted Hospitality

Athwart a Company of Tendentious Trolls and Halflings

Under the Boastful and Bestial Eye of a Dignified Sylver Ungulate

Surrounded by Clandestine Wonders and Embroidered Coveralls

Suffering from a Distinct Lack of Toes on a Gurney on a Train in a Tunnel

Under Assault by Salty Mermaids

In a Shop Rife with Suspiciously Familiar Tchotchkes

Outside the Grimful Walls of Bruding

In the Steamy Demesne of Dwarvelish Delight

Surrounded by Phantasmal Apparitions and Dusty Chiffarobes

Mired in the Viscid Gelatin of the Figgish Fen

Under the Obfuscated Guise of an Old Acquaintance

High Above a Caprine Abattoir and Acres of Bad Architecture

Near a Gourmet Selection of Hotly Contested Muesli

Amidst a Whirlwind of Blood and Viscera and Beard Hairs

Besplattered by Blood and Positively Riddled with Boons

Over a Moist Black Cardigan Lovingly Embroidered with Bats

Epilogue: Buffeted by Ebullient Winds of Surpassing Kindness.